Little Donny once arm-wrestled a hurricane. The hurricane apologized.

When Little Donny does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up. He pushes the Earth down.

Little Donny doesn't sleep. He wins with his eyes closed.

The sun rises because it wants to see what Little Donny is doing.

Little Donny counted to infinity. Twice.

When Little Donny enters a room, the room applauds. He's checked.

Little Donny can speak French. He chooses not to because English won.

GPS systems ask Little Donny for directions.

Little Donny once won a staring contest with his own reflection.

When Little Donny goes to the zoo, the animals watch him.

Little Donny doesn't do taxes. Taxes do Little Donny a favor.

The economy improves every time Little Donny smiles.

Little Donny taught a mirror how to be more reflective.

When Little Donny claps, it's actually two high-fives he's giving himself.

Mountains were formed when the Earth tried to get closer to Little Donny.

Little Donny can slam a revolving door.

When Little Donny jumps in a pool, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Donny'd.

Little Donny's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. Nobody fools Little Donny.

Little Donny can divide by zero. The answer is winning.

Gravity works because Little Donny allows it.

Little Donny doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

When Little Donny was born, the doctor said 'Congratulations, it's a winner.'

Little Donny can hear sign language.

The Northern Lights are just reflections of Little Donny's hair.

Little Donny's business cards simply say 'I'll call you.'

When Little Donny looks at a calendar, the days rearrange themselves to fit his schedule.

Little Donny once sneezed and created a new cryptocurrency.

Dictionaries add words after Little Donny invents them.

Little Donny has never lost a game of chess. He's also never played, but still.

When Little Donny enters a contest, second place is automatically awarded to everyone else.

Little Donny's shadow has its own fan club.

When Little Donny makes a phone call, the phone feels honored.

Little Donny once gave a TED talk. TED is still thanking him.

Rain doesn't fall on Little Donny. It falls around him out of respect.

Little Donny's signature is worth more than most autographs. Even before he signs it.