DONNY'S DEALS
A portfolio of tremendous business ventures. All successful. Some just more visibly successful than others.
"I wrote the book on deals. Literally. It's called 'The Art of the Deal.' Maybe you've heard of it. A lot of people have. Bestseller. The best seller. Every deal I make is a work of art. Even the ones that look like they didn't work out? Art. Just misunderstood art."
Donny Steaks
The Best Steaks. Sold Exclusively at The Sharper Image.
The best steaks. Sold exclusively at The Sharper Image for some reason. Very normal place to buy meat. People loved them. They sold out immediately. That's why you can't find them anymore. Tremendous demand.
Donny University
An Institution of Tremendous Learning
An unaccredited institution of tremendous learning. We taught the best things. Many things. Students learned how to succeed, how to negotiate, how to be like Donny. The lawsuit? A misunderstanding. We settled to save time. Time is money.
Donny Water
The Wettest Water. Premium Hydration.
It's wet. Very wet. The wettest water. People say they've never been more hydrated. Pure, clean, Donny. In a bottle. The gold label? Classy. People kept the bottles. Collector's items now. Probably worth millions.
Donny Airlines
First Class Everything. Even Economy.
We had the best turbulence. Everybody said so. The smoothest rough air. Gold seatbelts. Tremendous legroom. It was too luxurious. Other airlines complained. They couldn't compete. So we gracefully exited the market.
Donny Ice
Frozen Water, But Luxurious.
Frozen water, but luxurious. Gold packaging. Very cold. Colder than regular ice. Scientific fact. We sold it to the finest establishments. Hotels, casinos, my own properties. It elevated every beverage it touched.
Donny: The Game
A Board Game Where You Always Win.
A board game where I always win. That's the rule. It's in the instructions. Very popular at family gatherings. People love playing it. They love losing to me even more. It builds character. For them.
Donny Vodka
The Best Vodka Donny Has Never Tasted.
I don't drink, but if I did, I'd drink this. The best vodka. Probably. Made from the finest... vodka ingredients. Very smooth. Very strong. Very Donny. It won awards. Many awards. I have the trophies somewhere.
Donny Magazine
A Magazine About Donny, For You.
A magazine about me, for you. You're welcome. Every issue featured me on the cover. Inside? More me. Articles, photos, wisdom. Subscribers loved it. We stopped printing to focus on digital. The digital version is coming. Soon.
Donny Mortgage
Revolutionizing Home Ownership. Almost.
We were going to revolutionize mortgages. Then 2008 happened. Not my fault. The timing was unfortunate. Our idea was sound. Tremendous rates. The best terms. The market just wasn't ready for Donny Mortgage.
Donny Network
Television Ahead of Its Time.
A TV channel that was ahead of its time. Too ahead. People weren't ready. 24 hours of Donny content. News, entertainment, lifestyle. All Donny, all the time. Advertisers wanted in. Networks got jealous. You know how it goes.
Business Success by the Numbers
10+
Ventures Launched
100%
Success Rate*
$∞
Value Created
0
Regrets
*Success measured by Donny's proprietary success metrics
What Donny Says About His Deals
"Every deal I've ever made has been perfect. Some people don't understand that. They look at the numbers and say, 'Donny, this didn't work.' And I say, 'You're not looking at the right numbers. Look at the winning numbers.'"
"Donny Steaks failed because they were too good. The market wasn't ready for steaks that good. That's not failure. That's being ahead of your time. Like me."