People ask me, "Donny, do you know the Pope?" And I say, "Know him? We had the most perfect phone call. The best phone call." Many people are saying it was the greatest phone call between a Donny and a Pope in history. I believe them.

How It Happened

My phone rang. Or maybe I called. The details aren't important—what's important is that it happened. There I was, talking to His Holiness. Or someone who sounded very holy. Very holy indeed.

"Hello, is this the Pope?" I said. The voice on the other end said something in Italian. I don't speak Italian, but I understood perfectly because I'm very good with languages. All languages.

What We Discussed

We talked about many things. Important things. The state of the world. The state of my hair. The Pope—or whoever it was—was very complimentary about my hair. "Magnifico," they said. That means "magnificent" in Italian. I knew that without looking it up.

I gave him some advice. Good advice. "Your Holiness," I said, "you should consider wearing a red tie. It projects power." He said something back. I'm pretty sure he agreed.

The Perfect Ending

At the end of the call, he blessed me. Or cursed me. Hard to tell with Italian. Either way, I felt tremendous afterward. Very spiritual. Very blessed. Or very cursed. One of those.

Some people say I called a pizza restaurant by mistake. Those people are jealous. Jealous of my perfect phone call with the Pope. Very sad.

Key Takeaways

• Always answer your phone. It might be the Pope.
• Language barriers are no match for confidence.
• Even religious leaders appreciate good hair.
• Perfect phone calls are possible. I've had many.