Let me tell you about Paris. Beautiful city. Tremendous. But they had a problem. A big problem. The Eiffel Tower was leaning. Nobody noticed. Nobody except me.

I was walking down the Champs-Élysées—beautiful street, by the way, they named it after me, I think—and I looked up. And I said, "That tower is leaning." Everyone around me was confused. "No, Monsieur Donny, it's straight." But I knew better. I always know better.

The Approach

Now, most people would panic. Not Donny. I walked right up to that tower—past all the security, they recognized me and let me through, very respectful—and I put my hand on it. Just like that.

The tower straightened immediately. It knew. It felt the confidence. The tremendous energy. One touch from Little Donny and that tower was as straight as an arrow. Maybe straighter.

The Aftermath

The French government wanted to give me a medal. I said, "No thank you, I have enough medals." They insisted. I said, "Fine, send it to my hotel." They did. Beautiful medal. Gold, of course.

Now, some people say the Eiffel Tower was never leaning. Those people are wrong. It was leaning, I fixed it, and now it's not. That's just science. Or physics. Same thing.

Lessons Learned

• Always look up. You never know what needs fixing.
• Confidence can straighten anything, including towers.
• The French are very grateful people. Tremendous people.
• I should visit Paris more often. They need me.

In conclusion, I saved the Eiffel Tower. You're welcome, France. You're welcome, world. Just another day in the life of Little Donny.